We all cry when someone commits suicide. This is what they want us to do. No one understands why people do this thing. Life is supposed to about survival. Life is supposed to be about those we love. Why does one NOT want to live?


It's a well known fact that the human brain has evolved into a potent machine. Evolution has created a being on planet Earth like no other. With each step during the evolutionary process, the Brain has become larger and more powerful. The majority of Humans are both ambivorous and carnivorous, which means the eating of plants and animals for food and energy. By doing this, Humans have evolved their brains into a fantastic organism that controls the body. It's at once amazing and quite perplexing. We, as Humans, hardly understand ourselves. Science has tried. Religion has tried. Culture has tried. All have failed. Yes, it's an on-going project. We almost have homicide (the killing of other humans) figured out; BUT, Suicide? Nope. Except for being terminally ill, what IS the reason for WANTING to die? No one really knows now, and it will be awhile before someone does.

My Friend Jack

How many things did we do? Countless things. We went fishing together, we played golf together, we drank booze together. We played pool and listened to music together. We told stupid jokes to each other. We fired guns, played with puns and just had some really good times. We also had some bad times together. We dicussed our woes and fears. We hugged and punched each other in almost a breath's time. To you all, that may seem odd, but it was cathartic to us. We were different in many ways. We had an age difference that should have made a difference, but it didn't. We got mad at each other, but for barely minutes. The times we had together were so positive. I fell in love with him. Not sexually, but mentally. Even when we did not connect, we connected. I know that sounds strange, but it happened.

The Gun

You feel it in your hand. It's a beautiful device. You cock it, point it, fire it. It's a gun. You have POWER when you use it. It is a killing machine. That is what a gun is. Yes, it can maim, but it's main purpose is to kill. As a good person, you understand this. I, personally, never wanted to kill a human; birds, yes, other animals, yes. Most of them for food, some for defense. I'd been using guns since I was 12 years old. I was not scared of them but I did respect them. My father taught me both the value and the evil of the gun. It is a machine. A tool to be used when necessary. I never had a qualm about that. I was close to being drafted into the USA military to "defend" our Nation in Vietnam against communist agressision. I was against that. I did NOT want to kill or be killed. I was damn lucky when that draft ended. The gun. It was just a tool; a machine.

Suicide - Part 1

We talked we laughed we played the game

We listened to each other, it was all the same

We loved we hated every day

We went through life's passion play


The flowing brook, the fish were there

We didn't catch one, nor did we care

Country music in the background

Cats galore and a big old hound


We ate so much like glutton fools

We never thought about the rules

We hit that ball, where did it go

Back and forth, to and fro


Sometimes we couldn't even stand

Drunken fools with heavy hands

Our thoughts were so tightly wound

We spoke and listened to a sound


The one you loved I did love too

So young and pretty, she loved you

Confusion, yes, it was all there

It gave us both such a scare


Pizza, beer and other stuff

Balls and things went in the rough

So many things, it sure was tough

But we'd still laugh, it was enough


I will never forget those things

The improper views and crazy sings

Each day, my friend, took away the stings

It was all orchestra strings


Suicide - Part II

I will never forget that day

I did work, but we did play

You needed help in such a way

I could give my mind's strength say


You showed me what you had

So cool and big and tough guy bad

That rifle, light and easy sad

The look through the eye piece, totally rad


We drank, we sang, we laughed like hell

We threw pennies in our wishing well

We wouldn't buy but we would sell

And ring that crazy dumb ass bell


Back to the bar, we had a few

We were such a motley crew

Just you and me in that corner pew

Discussing me, discussing you


And then so quickly it was done

No more laughter, no more fun

We left apart, but we were one

Unerneath that afternoon sun


Weeks would pass, we did not talk

We both would have to walk the walk

Demons haunted us, they would stalk

They cought you, Brother, I can barley talk


And here we are, my beloved friend

A new beginning or an end

To you, my love I'll always send

Hope happiness for you around the bend

Suicide - No Conclusion

I did not believe it when I heard it. You were gone! By your own hand, nonetheless. I was numb and in shock. It could NOT be real. It was just a nightmare, and I would wake up. But, no...It WAS real. You killed yourself. You left us all, those that loved you, behind to grieve and wonder. Damn, I am so angry at you. If you weren't dead, I'd kill you! Why did you do this? For yourself? Certainaly not for us. Is it that you want us to feel the pain you were suffering even though we knew not that you were suffering it? Only you had that answer, which will never be known to those that loved you and miss you. Why am I angry? Because your pain is gone and you left others to deal with pain. But, I'll always remember you. I'll never forget you. If that is a victory for you, so be it. But after all these years, I'm still pissed off. That's just the way it is.

Suicide Prevention - Get Help

I urge ALL of you that have suicidal thoughts or tendencies to seek help. Remember this, people do love you. Let us do that. Become aware that your thoughts are fleeting and will pass with help and support. I miss my friend. I don't want to join him in death. I want him to be with me here ALIVE.

What do you think?